Speaking the truth in love vs. Spewing the truth in haste
- Sep 30, 2024
- 1 min read
"Most of us are good at speaking the truth - it's the "in love" part we need help with!"
For a HOT marriage we need Honest, Open and Transparent communication but is there a line where we become too Honest, too Open or too Transparent? In An Intentional Marriage podcast episode we concluded, YES! There is a line and, when crossed, our words become BRUTALLY honest. We talked about the difference from our experience. HOT conversation is essentially "speaking the truth in love" while brutal honesty is when we "spew the truth in haste." And it sounds like this: "You never pick up after yourself and I'm sick of living with a slob!" "You are always on your phone and ignore me when I'm talking!" "You sound like a psycho...just like your mom!" OUCH...that's brutal. Our words can be helpful or harmful. The challenge is catching ourselves before we hurt our spouse's feelings and learning how to rephrase our approach using "I feel___ when you____ I need" instead of "You always" and "You never"! This might not come naturally for us but we can go from spewing the truth in haste to speaking the truth in love when we pause and do a self check...one Marriage Minute Monday at a time. |
Speaking the truth with care really does matter because timing and tone can change everything. I learned that during a family conversation that could have gone badly but stayed calm. That week I used write my assignment during a heavy workload. Honest words work best with patience. Nice post. Your post make me smile.